Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize