"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize