so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
