Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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