Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Randomize
