that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize