that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
