Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
