I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
