used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
