just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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