with your own penis?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
