Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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