Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
