I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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