They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My vagina just recognized that song.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
