found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
