Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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