I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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