the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
