So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
