i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
