I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
