Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
