He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
