I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
