Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
