i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
