i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
