He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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