Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
