5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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