I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize