Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
