and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
