sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
