Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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