There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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