It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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