just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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