he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
