I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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