11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She's JV to your varsity
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
