my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
