You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
