Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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