apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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