Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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