i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I look better un-naked...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
