i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
