we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
