It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
