Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Randomize
