I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
