yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize