he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
