The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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