It was confusing and full of hummus
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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