Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
