Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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