I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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