Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
