Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
