Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
