Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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