Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
