i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize