I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
