Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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